How to use : how to get out of the friendzone

The friendzone, or literally, the friendship zone, is a social psychology term to explain a relationship between two people. But not just any relationship! It is a one-way friendship-love relationship, of course. The friendzone is a place where you end up when you behave in a friendly way with someone you like, but who only considers you a friend. And what does that really mean? 🤔
You must have already felt romantically interested in someone, whether it was because you got along well, because you had something in common or simply because there was something special, a feeling between you. However, this does not mean that you have become a couple. The main reason is that the other person, whom you particularly value, feels close to you on a purely friendly level. Let’s see the different zones that exist and how to get out of the friendzone!

The Friendzone of acquaintance

The moment when the stranger becomes an “acquaintance”, a “friend” or a “friend”.  This is called the acquaintance Friendzone. When meeting someone, everyone first has this first phase, during which they will judge the person’s looks, their attitude among the people they know, we know from the start if we are physically attracted to the person or not. 😊 Then comes the phase where we get to know the person, either in a rather precipitous and intentional way in the case of a person we would already like at first sight, or in a slower and “friendly” way in the case of someone whose physique does not necessarily attract us, or whose attitude does not correspond to the personality we are looking for. This friendzone is the one present before any question.

Possible reasons for this friendzone

• You have met the person several times, without ever talking to them
• Among your common friends, you did not stand out
• You have no way of contacting this person

This whole grey area is based solely on the first eye contact and the feelings that come from it. Your style of dress, your attitude, the way you speak (if you are in a group of friends)… In short, the first impression. To get out of the Friendzone, you have to get closer to the person little by little. By seeing them, talking to them more often, in short getting to know them to know if you have a chance or not. Take the information 😉

The solutions we suggest to get out of the friendzone of acquaintance

Things to do:

• Have something to contact them (on them on their phone, social networks…)
• Go out with your common friends
• Be interested in this person
• Take your time
• Have little touches that a friend might have
• Be friendly and outgoing with others

Bad practices to avoid:

• Harassing the person with messages, even when they do not reply
• Being too outspoken
• Trying to make it your own
• Pretending to be someone else

The Decision Friendzone

The Decision Friendzone is when you decide where you want someone to be in your life. In which we enter into a friendship or a romantic/sexual relationship. However, this choice takes a few weeks or even months to be confirmed. Months during which we can realise several things: either the person in front is not interested, or they are not that interesting, or you want to go further with them. In these moments, it’s better to be the outclassed friend than the downgraded interesting person, obviously… Everything is still playable 😉

Possible reasons:

• You have timing issues: whether it’s your crush or you, one is still in a relationship
• The both of you haven’t spent time alone together, or rarely
• You and this person have only known each other for a short time, even though you got to know each other quickly
• This person seems to like you, but doesn’t seem to be ready to make a move
• The person flirts with other people
• This person seems to like you, but without any ambiguity

This second zone is the decisive moment to move from the stage of a simple acquaintance to the stage of a friend, or to the stage of a possible partner! To get out of the friendzone will be easier since the choice is not yet made between friend and lover for your crush. That’s why it’s up to you to tip the scales with these tips! 😊

Getting out of the Decision Friendzone

Best practices for getting out of the friendzone:

• Tease your crush, as long as they is responding
• Don’t be too present, to create a lack
• Listen to them and take their words into consideration
• Be tactile, without being too intrusive
• Offer time together (some things to do with friends)
• Engage in long discussions

What not to do :

• Be competitive with someone 
• Be jealous or possessive when you are not in a relationship
• Want to move too fast
• Want to impose your own pace and vision of the relationship without compromise

The Friendzone of change

It is characterised by the fact that your and your friends are in a platonic friendship (without feelings or evolution). Between the two of you, there is no longer any question, you are friends and may always be. It’s a bit like your best friend. (outch) You know everything about each other, even the details of your love and sexual relationships. In short, there are no ambiguities. 😊 If you’re attracted to someone, don’t put yourself in that friendzone! It’s better to disappear from their life and maybe come back at a better time than to be frozen as a friend!

Possible reasons for the friendzone

• You have hidden your feelings and your crush doesn’t seem to have any for you
• Your feelings came out long after you met
• The person is not considering you as a potential life partner, due to physical or psychological criteria
• The person was in a relationship when you became friends

All the more reason to end up in the friendzone of change. After all, it is a combination of circumstances… But it is becoming increasingly difficult to get out of the friendzone. However, all is not lost! For some people, friendships are never totally and permanently fixed. For others, it is unthinkable to be in contact with one of their exes again! 👀

Getting out of the Friendzone of change

Things to do to get out of the friendzone:

• Put some distance between you and the person (especially if they is in a relationship)
• Create a change (physically, or in your attitude)
• Be more attentive than a friend
• Avoid situations where you behave like a friend
• Reveal your feelings (gently, of course)
• Be honest with this person

Bad practices to avoid:

• Continuing to behave like a friend indefinitely
• Be the opposite of what they are attracted to (but remember, don’t change)
• Make your frustration clear
• Making too abrupt a transition
• Pestering the person
• Making them feel guilty
• Deceiving their trust by letting them think you don’t like them

Finally, to get out of the friendzone, you will need a lot of patience in order to proceed step by step. As you have seen, the type of friendzone, the reasons why you are in it, and the ways to get out of it, will be very different depending on your situation. And it’s not easy to seduce, because you feel like you’re playing a role and you’re afraid of being ridiculous. But in the end, there’s not much to lose… The worst that can happen is that you get a no. But you’ll get over it quickly 😉